Inappropriately Captioned Vintage Volvo Promotional Photography
Wherein we do a bad lip reading of lip-free Volvo press images.
Sweden’s culture is different from America’s. That nugget of obvious information established, here is further proof straight from Volvo’s archive of promotional images dating back decades. Stumbling across this trove of, let’s call them interesting photos, we have zero context as to how they were used or why they were shot and set up the way they were. Many are deeply strange, while others seem to touch on Volvo’s longstanding reputation for safety and reliability. Since the images generally lacked official context, we decided to make our own and caption our favorite photos for your (and our) enjoyment. Click through to see the “bad lip readings” we came up with for these images—and to Volvo, we apologize in advance.
Volvo 760
Volvo promises zero fatalities in its cars by 2020, so long as you don’t exist in 1985 and drive off a building.
Volvo 760 GLE
This Volvo was photographed just after pushing Mufasa off the ridge.
Volvo 244 GL
Why did the ducks cross the road? To be hit by a 244.
Volvo 343
“Sven, would you like to touch my fuselage?”
Volvo 740 GL
March 1, 1995: “Get in the bag.”
Volvo 740 GL
Jack Kevorkian’s travels to Sweden in the 1980s weren’t well documented.
Volvo 244 GLT
Grandma sees, and Grandma likey.
Volvo XC90
“Mom, do you know that this car won’t be redesigned for 12 years?”
Simon Lamarre, Volvo C30 taillight
Sven, 38, seeking tail . . . light.
Horror
An exclusive sneak peek at Westworld, season three.
Volvo P220
Gotta touch the giant butt.
Volvo pedal car
The original Desiigner Volvo.
Volvo V70
“Mom, why can’t we ride in the third-row seat?"
“You must find the truffles first.”
Volvo 850 Turbo
Volvo owners live their lives a quarter-kilometer at a time.
Volvo 740 GL
“Honey, whose kids are these?”
Volvo 760 GLE
The hardest Volvo to Volvo.
Seriously, What’s up with These Dummies?
Volvo wants to ensure that its crash-test dummies enjoy the simple things in life before . . . you know.
Volvo XC90
“Hold my Aquavit, watch this!”
Volvo 850
Dharma Initiative guidelines state that members should seek recreation in station wagons as much as possible.
Volvo 122 S Amazon
“Is this where you threw the ring I gave you?”
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