From the December 2023 issue of Car and Driver.
There is no better day in a truck owner's life than being in a situation where someone needs the services of a pickup and you're able to provide them. Hauling an unexpected car-parts score or rescuing a friend who's made an impromptu plant-rack purchase? That's why we buy trucks. But these days, we're buying more truck than we need.
People like to buy for imagined extreme conditions. What if you had to transport a full-grown oak tree in an oversize pot? What if a train broke down in front of you, and you were the only one who could tow it? In reality, the tasks most pickup trucks carry out are less dramatic. At a recent track test, the support crew for a certain dream car from Maranello had a pallet of extra tires, a jack, and several prancing-horse-emblazoned bags that all needed to go out to the straightaway with the car. I was there with a Hyundai Santa Cruz—not the first machine you'd think of for heavy cargo. To my and the Italians' surprise, the Hyundai's little square bed swallowed all the gear and happily hauled its MSRP in carbon wheels and sticky rubber.
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I shouldn't have been surprised. There was a time when full-size pickups were for ranchers and folks who had daily interaction with excavators. The rest of us carried our lawn mowers in El Caminos and moved friends' couches in Datsun Li'l Hustlers. Now, don't get me wrong. I love big trucks. I currently own seven, and not a single one is small enough to enter a parking garage without ducking. The list includes two D700 ramp trucks, a crew cab that was painted in the '80s to match someone's racing boat, a Cummins turbo-diesel, a Ramcharger, a 1965 Ford 350 wrecker, and, like most people, a dump truck.
I know how satisfying big trucks are to drive but also how unsuitable they are for city living. Back when I lived without a driveway, I used to park my dually with one tire up on the curb so my neighbor could get by. I've been on roads where that thing's rear was still entering a turn while the front was already exiting. Even with that experience in my truck-driving background, I still believe the new ones have gotten overly large.
I drove a Toyota Tundra and debated folding in the mirrors while on the freeway to be sure I fit in the lane. The view from the driver's seat of a Chevy Silverado 2500 is so high up that it ought to come with a balcony. The Ford F-150 offers a fold-down shifter so you can use the console as a desk, but the truck is so wide you could carry around a nice walnut rolltop and still have room for the crew. I spent three days with a Chevy Colorado ZR2, thinking it was a Silverado before I finally noticed the badging. It was taller than an early-'90s Ram W250.
Trucks used to be mostly cargo space, with just enough room inside for two folks and a dog on the front bench. Now, they're the opposite: basically five-passenger SUVs with a little bed on the back. They're rarely fuel efficient, and they take up too much real estate in the Trader Joe's parking lot, because each wide-fendered Ram that squeezes between and over the lines of a compact space forces the next driver to do the same. Market research says the majority of owners aren't using pickups for towing, and some aren't even hauling anything—they just want to pretend to be cowboys.
I'm not saying people shouldn't buy trucks. That would be outrageous hypocrisy. But the bigger the vehicles we have on the road simply for commuting, the more we have to devote our open space to paved parking, and a real cowboy would hate to see the range asphalted and striped. So unless you're hauling a fifth wheel on the regular, allow me to suggest you size down your next pickup. Have you seen how hip kei trucks are?
Like a sleeper agent activated late in the game, Elana Scherr didn’t know her calling at a young age. Like many girls, she planned to be a vet-astronaut-artist, and came closest to that last one by attending UCLA art school. She painted images of cars, but did not own one. Elana reluctantly got a driver’s license at age 21 and discovered that she not only loved cars and wanted to drive them, but that other people loved cars and wanted to read about them, which meant somebody had to write about them. Since receiving activation codes, Elana has written for numerous car magazines and websites, covering classics, car culture, technology, motorsports, and new-car reviews. In 2020, she received a Best Feature award from the Motor Press Guild for the C/D story "A Drive through Classic Americana in a Polestar 2." In 2023, her Car and Driver feature story "In Washington, D.C.'s Secret Carpool Cabal, It's a Daily Slug Fest" was awarded 1st place in the 16th Annual National Arts & Entertainment Journalism Awards by the Los Angeles Press Club.
